How to Heal a Broken Life?


Question – Time and time again I find myself at the end of a bad relationship. Why am I doomed to live a life of hurt, anger and loneliness? What is wrong with me?


Answer – The question of what is wrong with me is probably not the best question. Maybe you should ask: “what is right with me”? “We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” Marianne Williamson


Most all of us have suffered multiple devastating situations, such as an unexpected divorce, relationship loss, job loss, loss of a child, loss of our home, or even identity theft. When so many things happen all at once, is it even possible to bounce back? Can we even find some kind of explanation or understanding? Nothing stops the healing like denial, or focusing on the injustice that we experienced. There are 5 basic principles that will help us heal and pull away from denial to find a refreshing new life or recapture the life we want without the fear of failure and loss.


When you are so filled with pain, it is even hard to get out of bed or off the couch. Start where you are- in bed. Just notice your senses. Start feeling the softness of your blanket or the comfort of your bed and how it feels to your body.

Take a few moments to notice the smells.

What sounds can you hear?

The purpose of this exercise is to begin feeling the good things in life. It helps you to be present instead of being locked in the pain filled past. You have one of two choices to make – stay where you are or begin the healing process by opening up to other possibilities. It really is your choice. Could it really be that simple to start the healing just by focusing on your senses? Yes, you can find comfort in your senses and see beyond the pain by broadening your awareness of the good things around you- the awareness of life beyond the pain. For every pain, there is pleasure and even a possibility for more pleasure than pain. Doing this small exercise gives us the space needed to heal broken lives.


Do you ask yourself any of these questions: Why did they leave me? What did I do to upset them? Can we get back together one day? Why did I make the wrong money decisions? How did I even think I could be a good businessperson? Why do I continually make stupid mistakes? One of the best things to learn is that with or without all of these people or situations, the most important relationship we have is with ourselves.


Give yourself the time to get reacquainted with who you really are. Reevaluate the cycles in your life.

Remember that if you feel broken that is a good sign meaning that at least you have tried something. Life is filled with solutions and ways in which to overcome hardship. If you are willing, you will find what you are looking for.


It is easy to fill the void in your life by finding the first relationship, the first job, or just jumping into the next thing that comes into your life. Instead of filling the void, allow it to be a part of you and then work for what you really want. Your fears can cloud your decisions, and your healing process. But you become a more creative, motivated and happy person when you have time to regroup. Jumping into the next dysfunction makes each step more dysfunctional and continues the cycle. We don’t like to hear the words: be patient. Yet it will make your life stronger and filled with more of what you want.


This is a very good place to reevaluate your living cycles. This is an exceptional place to open your heart and to hear inspiration from your higher power. You will be amazed at the direction given.


We often think that success and freedom from pain is people’s ability to avoid failure when, in fact, the opposite is the case. Successful, happy people are successful because they do not fear failure; they embrace it; they learn from it. Their tolerance for failure enables them to succeed because they will get up and try again. They feel what life gives them and they try again. Any great invention and any great romance was filled with pain, failure and healing enough to start again. It is so much better to have tried and failed than to have chosen to stay in our misery.

At some point in your healing ask yourself, “What have I learned from this? What have I received because of this?”

Keep in mind that the magic we are looking for is found in what we are trying to avoid.

Kristena Eden