How To Survive the Family During the Holidays Part 1



Why can’t we just have one day of peace?



Question- I do not look forward to the holidays. We argue more and no one helps each other- there is no joy. Then to top that off, we have to go to the in-laws. Wow, and I thought my little family bickered a lot. Please, please give me some ideas on how we can make it through the holiday season and not end up getting a divorce or permanently grounding the kids?


Answer – That is a good question. This should be a time when we can spend more quality time together. A time when we should relax, distress, and just have fun. And yes at times it does feel like an impossibility to feel even just a small amount of peace.


Scholars have dedicated years of study and research insight into this family dynamic. Following the advice from them, found below, can perhaps help us find the peace that seems to be illusive. I have separated the life changing information into 5 blogs. 1- De-emphasize the materialistic part of the holiday 2- Setting our differences aside for the time being 3- Acknowledge our own needs and limitations 4- Finding fault and 5- Speaking our mind. The first is found below:


Research shows that unhappy people are more materialistic. When we are less satisfied with life, we tend to try and fix it by buying something. That does work for the ride home, and then we start feeling that same feeling of emptiness. We may also try to fix it by attending every party or gathering we can, to feel that we belong. Another attempt to make life seem happier is to be the best decorator on the block.

If you are feeling any or all of this, it is time to take a deeper look at why we are really celebrating the holidays.


De-emphasize the materialist part of the holidays. Good questions to ask your self are:


This time of year especially can make us feel that we are not good enough. We have in our mind that we will only be good enough if we decorate, make goodies, buy everyone a gift, go caroling, send cards, and we definitely have to have an elf. In reality our value is not linked to all of this commercialism. We are of much greater worth than that. Just having the memories of simple family traditions and of having time together is what will really last. (If that includes and elf, then so be it.)

  1. One of the ways to be able to de-emphasize the materialism is to stay present.
  2. Don’t worry about the future because that causes anxiety.
  3. Don’t keep thinking about the past because that can cause depression.
  4. Staying focused on what is present in front of you and only what you can do at this moment will take away so much stress.


Get the free download to help you find what is a real priority and what needs to go. This would be good to have all family members fill out. That will help get everyone on the same page.

Peace and love can be found in the holidays, one step at a time.