This is the question most of us ask. How can I be happier, prettier, richer, more productive and how can I influence others to do the same?
The simple answer is to make others feel important. When you think of others and their needs, it will turn you into a great person in their eyes. They will give you more respect and authority, they will also listen to what you have to say even if you disagree with them. If they feel understood and appreciated they are much more willing to give back more of what you need or want.
The other side of the coin when you put yourself in their shoes it gives you a greater understanding of them. With that greater understanding you can also learn more about yourself.
To begin with we need to know who we are and what our passions are or what we want for our future. Why influence others? What would the world be like if more people were respectful and considerate? How is it possible for one person to influence the world in that direction? We all want the world to be a better place to live in. That’s why we want to be an influencer, so we can live a more fulfilling life.
Who Am I?
According to Josh Misner PhD, we have 4 selves. Any one of these selves can be used for good or harm in our personal situation, and our relationships. How well do you know yourself? Ask a close friend, spouse or family member to share one thing that annoys them about you. Nothing is off limits. This is a time for you to become the best “you” possible. Do not try to defend yourself, let this be a profound learning moment and just listen. What did you learn about yourself?
- The Known Self, things we know about ourselves and others know about us. What is the one thing you need to change? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- The Hidden Self, things we know about ourselves that others do not know. Why do we hide this and what needs to change? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- The Blind Self -things others know about us that we do not know. What did you find out about yourself? How is this painful? What needs to change? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
- The Unknown Self – Things neither we nor others know about us. This could be future opportunities that have not arrived yet. Maybe things you are not aware that you would love or be good at. What do you think this could be? What deeper thoughts do you have that you are holding back inside because of money, time, or skill? ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Once you have a stronger sense of who you are, you can become the best influential version of you. It can be tempting to think about the best version of yourself as some intangible point in the future where you will be more successful, doing what you love, and being much happier.
Do you see your current self as the regular everyday person? You are just waiting for the perfect time and circumstance to give it your all?
If you wait for the best version of yourself to happen, you’re going to be stuck with what you are now.
Don’t wait; start making progress today. One step at a time. Following are some suggestions to get life moving:
The big question to start with is what characteristic or part of you do you want to grow? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
THEN:
- Just Show Up. The smallest step forward is great and so much better than none. If you are wanting to run a marathon it starts with putting on your shoes. Then the next step is to run around the block. Keep upping the time and distance each day.
- The best version of yourself is your vision not someone else’s.
- Stop looking for short cuts or secret tricks. You are climbing a new mountain and it’s your mountain.
- Learn and accept help of others. Someone out there may have traveled the road before you and they can give you great insight.
- Keep track of your progress and celebrate the small wins.
- Embrace failure. You can’t make progress by playing it safe. The successful people have failed more than the person that never tried.
- Help other people become the best version of themselves. This will keep you motivated and you will build lasting connections. Putting others first is like building your own ladder.
- Get your ego out of the way. Getting out of your ego can give you great perspective. When you build others, they will return the favor.
- Make kindness a priority.
- Forgiveness is for you, not the one who hurt you. Let go of that heavy burden. You don’t need to carry garbage others spew your way.
Why should you take steps to become the best you can be? Because you owe it to yourself and to other people to do just that.
Your family, your community, your colleagues and clients benefit from you when you are more skilled and confident.
You have a totally different, demeaner when you serve others. That gives you great power.
In addition, people pursuing their higher goals are responsible for creative, inspiring, engaging results. They are the ones with the stories to tell about: challenges overcome; lessons learned; life lived fully.
So, if you accept there’s a choice between Same-Old and Different, choose wisely.